Mother's Day

Mother's Day always begins with your own mother, because that is of course the beginning of everything.

I've always loved this picture of me and my Mom.  I think it was taken at Edward's Gardens, but I could be wrong.  I have no idea who took it, and I've never tried to put into words why it's a favourite, but it is.  In the card I gave to my Mom yesterday I thanked her for the most important gift she gave me - a gospel education.  I am so thankful to have a relationship with my Savior Jesus Christ, and I owe that to my Mama.

Next I think of my own motherhood.  I am unendingly grateful for being a mother.  I couldn't imagine my life without Kate, Alice and Fiona. I feel like I'm becoming the person I was always meant to be because of them.  I am so grateful for the (almost) two years I've had off from work to just be Mom.  It's been amazing, the constant ups and downs, the highs, the bliss, the adoration and then two minutes later the anger, the frustration, and then someone hugs or giggles, and the course changes again.

And then I think of all of the women who have been mother's to me.  I think of Ellen Buchert, Brenda Cornell, Lori Boyer.  Sweet story from church this morning, the opening hymn was "O My Father".  It is a hymn about life before we came here, about having a Heavenly Father and a Heavenly Mother.  It is a beautiful hymn.  I shed a tear or two, because this was the hymn that I memorized as a beehive goal when I was twelve, when Lori Boyer was my leader.  There have been countless teachers and church leaders that helped shape my life.

I think of my sister who became a mother nine years before I did.  I seek out her advice often.  She cares deeply and fiercely for her four children, for their physical, mental and spiritual well-being.  Her perspective enriches my own, she is constantly making me aware of things I never would have thought of.  I wish we lived closer, but I cherish the time we do get to spend together.

I think of my Auntie Rena, my Auntie Anna, my Auntie Liz, and my Auntie Wendy.  All such different women and different mothers and all have played a role in my development.

Then there are my mother friends, the ones in the trenches, the ones to share the struggle with, the struggles and the joys, all of this crazy mess of mothering.  My life has been so enriched by these women around me whose children play with mine.  We laugh and cry together and share so much. 

And last of all, what has really been on my mind these last few days, are those women for whom mother's day is so hard.  For those daughters who've lost a mother too soon, for those mother's that lost a child too soon.  I want to give them comfort, to help them in some way, to offer them love and support.  I can't imagine the pain of losing a child, I don't want to. 

I am so grateful to Ken for making today a special day.  He cooked and cleaned, bought me flowers and made a card with the girls.  I'm thankful to him for working so hard this last year so I could stay home for another year.  I'm so grateful to him for the time he's going to devote to our girls when I go back to work full time. 

Motherhood is such a sacred responsibility.  I feel its weight and its light and its miracle all at once.  I am both exhausted and energized by its many obligations.  And I am forever grateful for the title of Mother, which I proudly bear.


The moment a child is born, the mother is also born. She never existed before. The woman existed, but the mother, never. A mother is something absolutely new. ~Rajneesh