A Pandemic Romance

Goodness. Where to begin. At the beginning of course.

March - Mom signed up for Match.com, Mom met CJ. Mom started talking to CJ every single day.

April - right before or after Mom's birthday she told me that she had met a new friend online. Changjung Kwon - CJ for short. She was hoping to meet him soon. (Sting #1 - she wouldn't meet up with us but she was excited to meet her new friend aka complete stranger met on the internet.)

April - It seemed CJ was married. Then Mom emailed and said, no he isn't married. He's divorced, it was a bad marriage, he doesn't want to marry again.

April - Mom and CJ are talking every day. Meeting up frequently and going for walks by the lake. Mom sends me an email with pics of her "Prince Charming".

April - the story is muddy. He's divorced, he doesn't know where his ex-wife is, hasn't talked to her for a long time. Then he isn't divorced. He doesn't want to divorce. Divorce is shameful in Korea - where his wife and children live. 

April - a lot of back and forth mostly about you can't have a relationship with a married man and what are you doing mom, and mom saying it's fine, it's fine.

May - CJ goes to Korea to seek a divorce from his wife. He stays in quarantine for two weeks when he first arrives. Mom and CJ talk through Facebook messenger every day. CJ wakes up at 3 a.m. to talk to Mom. CJ is supposed to be gone for three months. Mom says that his wife has agreed to get divorced.

May/June - CJ's wife won't agree to get a divorce. CJ is still a married man. I feel like it is time for Mom to cut her losses. This isn't going anywhere, but Mom will not abandon her friend. 

June - Mom comes to visit for Fiona's birthday. It's the first time she's come in the house in two months. She's sad, she's lonely, I tell her she needs to spend more time with her grandchildren. She agrees. 

July - CJ comes back from Korea on July 13th - has to quarantine for 14 days. He comes home without a divorce. He plans to seek a divorce in Toronto. I am baffled by the whole thing.

July - we see Mom. The girls have an overnight. Mom is still talking to CJ, her friend, saying that if he gets a divorce she wants to get to know him better.

August - End of August CJ flies back to Korea. This time his wife has agreed to a divorce. He plans to stay for three months. He moves stuff into my Mom's place before he leaves. They plan to get married when he comes back with his divorce finalized.

September - Mom misses CJ lots. She does start to look into a prenuptial agreement. I message CJ on messenger on Facebook. He seems nice in his messages.

October - Trunk or Treat at our ward chapel we meet CJ. His divorce is almost final in Korea. The paperwork needs to be filed in Canada. He takes lots of pics with his selfie stick.

November - Paperwork is filed in Canada. We have a Google Meet as a family. 

December 19 - Mom and CJ get married

I'm still not exactly sure what to think about the whole thing. There are more details, more hurts and stings, and miss-communications and not communications. I've pondered quite a lot and I'm not sure what I'm supposed to feel. I'm glad that my Mom isn't sad. But that's about it. I'm not excited about this new member of our family. I'm not. It's made me miss my Dad. (I should do art therapy like Alice) Mom has told me that when my Grandma (my Dad's Mom) eloped and got remarried after Dad's Dad died, her kids were not happy about it. I know it's normal to feel how I feel, I just don't like it. 

I'll probably need to force myself to get over it at some point. I did fast at the beginning of December for peace, and that was good. I did feel peace. I should do that again. Or something. Eventually.