What I want to remember.

What do I want to remember?  What will I remember?  If I look at my blog during Kate's first year of life it would seem that everything was always peachy.  Was it always peachy?  I don't honestly remember.  I remember that Kate didn't sleep very well at night, but I know that changed, but when did that change?

Being just Kate's mom felt easy, if I remember correctly.  I remember being lonely sometimes and I remember the panic I felt about returning to work, but I don't remember it being difficult. Being a Mom to Kate and Alice feels like a big adjustment.  Some days are absolute bliss - they nap at the same time, the kitchen is clean, I get to blog.  Other days are a crazy mess of crying.

There are some things that I really want to remember.
Alice:
- the way her smile lights up her entire face
- the way she smiles when she sees her sister
- how excited she was the first time I put her in the tub with her sister
- the way she holds my finger while she nurses
- when she sticks her tongue out of the side of her mouth and is just too cute for words
- trying desperately to crawl by mashing her face into the floor and kicking her legs
- the feeling of my sweet baby on my chest with her sweet head on my shoulder
Kate:
- the way she parrots everything you say
- when she reaches for my face with her hand and leans in for a kiss
- going through our checklist (no yelling, no crying, no screaming, no hitting, no pushing)
- the way she's learning to pray
- how much she loves to go swimming
- when she closes her eyes on the swing, tilts her head back and just squeals
- how cute she looks when you catch her saying the words to "I am a child of God"

And lastly what I don't want to remember,  but I don't want to forget:
crying, tempers, frustrations, losing my patience, mood swings, parenting is hard, being over tired.

When I can remember to let go and just enjoy, when I reflect on all of my blessings, those are usually the best days.  I love being a mom, struggles and all.