14

Originally this was going to be the first anniversary that we wouldn't spend together. We were going to ditch Ken for new years too. But then Fiona shared. This is day two of me being in bed most of the day, and although I do feel a little better today than I did yesterday I still feel like garbage. We didn't do anything together. Ken didn't go to work, he's stayed home to take care of the minions the past two days. Tomorrow there's supposed to be a snow storm, so I won't be going to Connecticut at all. It is all just sad.

I'm trying to be grateful, but tonight I just feel kind of sad, sick and sorry for myself. I am grateful for Ken, for our marriage, for what a wonderful husband and father he is. He is my everything.

McCartney Christmas

On Sunday (yesterday, Christmas) I wasn't even sure that I was going to go - Fiona's fever got to 40.2 Celsius last night, but she didn't have any other scary symptoms, and her fever came down with tylenol, so it was a wait and see. She was lots better today, but still not better.

Lisa was hosting, and people were to arrive after 2. It was potluck, and somewhat casual, and we were originally planning to get there on time, but then the girls took a long time showering and there was no hot water left, and Fiona fell asleep. And then we just slowed down to an almost stand still.

Then getting there, goodness, gas station trip, bathroom trips, it was ridiculous. I think we finally made it at 5:30. Fiona really seemed fine which was good, and Alice and Fiona played hard with Rachael, once Fiona realized it was safe to leave my lap.

We visited and we did have a nice time even though I felt badly the whole time. Ken was really relaxed though, sort of. Sick kids messes things up.

This year was one of the years that I should have taken more pictures. But I did take a few!

Christmas

I wasn't planning to wrap presents until the wee hours of the morning on Christmas Eve, but then I didn't make a different plan... I was woken up by a feverish barfing Fiona not long before I was done. Thankfully it seemed like a one off and she settled quickly and I was able to finish up.

But the poor thing was not well the next day. I wasn't sure what to do. We only had an hour of church, so I decided to give Fiona some advil and off we went, but not before the girls opened their stockings and one or two of their presents.

Church was so very special. It was only an hour long and we sang almost the whole time. It was a lovely service and I was so glad that we all went. Fiona sat in my arms almost the whole time, but she seemed okay. When we got home I took a Christmas dress picture - or at least I tried to. Fiona is not into having her picture taken at the moment which is very frustrating!

Thankfully I was able to take lots of pictures of presents being opened and Fiona wasn't upset about that.

The girls loved their presents. Alice's biggest excitement was for her makeup. She LOVES makeup and was so excited about it. The rest of the day was spent applying more and more and more makeup to everyone who would let her!

Kate's favourite was maybe the Playmobil? I'm not sure. Anyway she spent hours putting it all together and asked for minimal help. I was really proud of her. We took lots of pictures of the Playmobil, but I didn't get one with her cute face.

Ken cooked up a storm all afternoon and eventually Andrew, Rayna, Mom and Dad all came. The girls had a few more presents to open - more make up, some jewellery, cases to keep it all in, and a tablet from Mom and Dad. (Mom and Dad gave us money and I kind of forgot about getting them something to give the girls, so we made the tablet from them - it worked out I think!)

Fiona was fading pretty good, so we gave her some more advil and had Christmas dinner.

We had a really lovely Christmas. Everyone was really happy all day. Poor little Fiona's fever spiked just before bed, but even she was able to get through most of the day with the help of medicine. We really had such a lovely Christmas. I love Christmas!

Scary Stories on the Eve of Christmas Eve

The girls sat in the family room with my phone flashlight and told scary stories.  This is what I heard.

Alice’s Story (I missed the very beginning)

A real monster appeared, a fish man and it struck lightening and it boomed and it boomed and it was a zombie and it screamed and it said “I want your brain” and every time she saw that zombie she felt like death.

A zombie came and gobbled up her brain and the next day she went to school and her teacher said “what is 100 + 1” and she said “2?”  And her teacher said “what is wrong with you?” And she said “my head is empty it has no brain in it. This is a nightmare.”

And the zombie came and ate the Mom's brain and the Dad's brain and the Dad went to work and he didn't know who to call and he just sat there pushing the same button all day.

Kate’s Story

Once upon a time on a dark and stormy night there was a girl all alone in a cabin. And it was in the middle of nowhere in a forest. And she was all alone when all of a sudden the phone rang. And a deep voice said "you have food? Me hungry!" And the girl responded "yes I have tons of it"

The voice responded “what's your address?”

“52 in the middle of nowhere.”

And the voice hung up and the girl heard tromping in the forest then she heard ding dong.

And she carefully touched the doorknob, and it was Frankenstien and without asking the monster dove into the girls cabin and he ate all the food in there and even when he ate the last cookie he said, “me hungry, me want more food.”  He said “you know where find meat?” And with that said he picked up the girl and put her in a sack and went tromping through the forest until he reached the monster lair. And there was a pot of boiling water and one stick. The monster Frankenstien showed the monster to all of his allies. And the monsters said “you have caught food.”  “Me caught a lot of it.” And the monsters all cheered and they stuck the girl on a stick and as soon as they did they heard someone says stop. And they said “why?” Then they put her in a sack again and put her in a cave and she was never seen or heard from again.

Two Santa Photos - the whole long story

How do you know you are a little too obsessed with Santa photos? When you hashtag a Facebook post with #fionaruinedChristmas and you aren't totally joking.

On Friday night, we needed to buy a present for a birthday party the next day. I wanted to go to the mall after the trip to the Mastermind Toy Outlet. I told Ken that I wanted Christmas outfits for the girls, and that I wanted to check out Santa. According to the website for the Pickering Town Centre, Santa had been moved upstairs because they were repairing his castle after a flood in the lower level of the mall.

Everything changed when the girls walked in and saw Santa in all his glory. Fiona had been talking all week about Santa. All week. She was so, so, so excited. The girls danced around looking down at Santa in his castle.

I went into Gymboree for my annual Christmas outfit shopping, and the girls begged to change into their new outfits and see Santa right then. It was 8:30 or so at night. A sensible Mom would have said no. But I wanted to seize the moment. Fiona was so excited.

We went into the bathroom, wiped their faces, put on their cute outfits and went downstairs. Everyone was happy until we got half way around the castle. There was no line, Kate and Alice skipped ahead with Ken, and Fiona stopped dead in her tracks. Her face fell. Panic took over. She looked at me and said "I don't want to see Santa." 

A sensible Mom would have walked away. Fiona absolutely lost her mind. She cried, she lay on the floor in the fetal position. When I tried to pick her up she flailed and cried and squirmed. The last two years (2015, 2014) Kate held onto her while she cried. If I had tried to get Kate to hold her, they both would have been injured.

There was nothing calm or rational about my thinking. Fiona wouldn't be in the picture, Christmas was ruined.

I've let go of so many traditions this fall with the move and this felt like one more tradition I was going to lose and I just shut down. It was over. There was no do-over, it was done.

I went ahead and had them take a photo.

And then I was sad. I was sad all Friday night, and all day Saturday. I mean I did other things and I wasn't grumpy about everything, but every time I thought about the Santa picture it broke my heart all over again. I really thought this was the year Fiona would no longer be afraid.

Sunday, at church I started to regain my perspective. Santa photos are fun, but sharing the light of Christ, that's what it's really about. Loving one another, helping those around us feel loved. Serving each other and looking out for each other, all year and at this time of year too.

I started to feel guilty about posting that Fiona had ruined Christmas. Of course she didn't ruin Christmas, she just didn't want to sit anywhere near Santa. I started to also think about second chances - that is the true gift of our Savior. We never have to settle. We can be forgiven and improve, there's always a second chance, and a third, and a fourth...

I started to talk to Fiona, come up with a plan. She was game.

Monday night, after dinner the girls put their Christmas outfits back on. Kate brought her letter for Santa, Fiona brought her little Santa for moral support and we went back to the mall.

When it was our turn I told the greeter of our needs: 1. Santa was not to talk to or in anyway acknowledge Fiona's existence. 2. Santa needed to move over as far as he could in the chair, Kate would sit beside him, Alice beside her, and Fiona beside Alice.

And it mostly worked! Go Fiona! She was brave and I got my Santa photo with all three of my girls.

Parent Teacher Interviews

We met with Madame Mudahy at 6:50 at Southwood Park Public School, and then we went to meet with Ms. White and Ms. Fayaz at Carruthers Creek Public School at 7:30.

Kate's teacher didn't have very much to say. Kate's report card is good. All As and Bs. There hasn't been a whole lot sent home. I'm not sure if Kate has a portfolio at school - it wasn't offered, and I didn't think to ask about it. Kate's teacher is brand new - she just graduated and this is her first job. She seems nice. I know that there are some things coming home. I can't say I'm completely sure what Kate is learning this year - but she does tell me about some things?!

Alice's interview was very different. The teacher laid out her portfolio and said, this is how Alice is doing, and here is the evidence. Alice is also progressing well - just no report card in Kindergarten. 

We were able to bring home her portfolio. It was pretty neat. I scanned this because I thought it was amusing.

When asked to make connections - what does school remind me of? Alice wrote: My first day of school Emmet tripped over me and made my knee bleed. This was what happened to her on her first day of JK at Tottenham Public School. I'm not sure this is how Alice wanted to start her scholastic career. It was a little upsetting.

Also Alice related. Yesterday Alice engaged in the following conversation:
Alice: Did you know that when I was a JK my friends A and E were mean to me once?
Me: What did they do?
Alice: I was hanging on the bars on the school bus climbing structure and they stared at me.
Kate: I don't think staring is mean.
Alice: Then when I was hanging there they touched my feet.
Me: Why was that mean?
Alice: I couldn't get down because they were holding my feet.
Me: Did you ask them to stop.
Alice: Mom, I was a JK. I didn't have a decision wheel. I didn't know what to do. (Pause) I was a JK.

So tonight when we went, I just had to get a photo of the decision wheel. And here it is.

I'm thankful that the girls have settled so well into their new schools. They all (Fiona included) have wonderful teachers and friends. Life is good.