I don't know why this year felt different. I'm not sure why I felt more exasperated, more tired, more fed up, more disillusioned, but I did. This year was a hard year. There were so many amazing moments, so much to be thankful for, but I had to fight to feel happy more than I remember in years past.
I know the drive was hard. Not every day, but generally it added up, and I was really done by the end of the year. I listened to some fantastic books - but it was long.
Most of my classes were great, some made some real progress as classes, but others were tough all year and I was so done with them by the end. So done with the disrespect.
Transfers... in theory I really want to be closer to home, but the thought of leaving my school and starting over again is a little terrifying. That being said, I did apply for three or four - music positions in my board in Markham. I had two interviews lined up, but neither of them ever happened.
The first interview was cancelled because the board had to place a surplus teacher. Someone messed up because the transfer process was closed for a month to place surplus teachers. The second interview was cancelled because the music teacher that was supposed to be leaving changed his mind. My principal was really upset. He was really trying to help me get closer to home, but it just didn't happen. I was calm because I love my school, but I did have a few tearful moments. There were days that I just didn't think that I could keep doing this job, and then when there was really no chance of my leaving this year - I had to have a night to cry and come to terms with it. But in talking to colleagues, I just know, that this isn't about me, there is a plan for my life. My Heavenly Father knows what is best. It will work out the way it is supposed to work out, when it is supposed to work out. That and my principal said that he'd put me on Administrative Transfer next year to get me east, so I think next year will be my last at Blue Willow. I think...
I do love teaching music, I received so many lovely notes of gratitude from students and parents. The notes are such a lovely way to end the year, and really remind me why I do what I do. I love my school, my community, and my job. I am grateful. I need to figure out what to do differently next year, because I do need to do some things differently. And I'm grateful for the summer to think about those things.
Grade Eight Graduation: The music award winner - Yvonne. Dineshree, Jodi and I. The lunch crew - Sia, Emily, Tamilini, Jersey, Shuruktiga, and Me. And the dancing.
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