I was out walking again today and I was thinking! I was thinking that it would be nice to make friends with some people that live in my neighbourhood, as in Tottenham. (It would be nice to have a friend that wasn't at least half an hour away by car.) I was further thinking that I wasn't sure how to do this. On previous walks I've seen women with small children and I've thought, how does one make friends? Does one simply walk up to a complete stranger and say "hey, you've got kids, I've gotta a kid, let's be friends?" No of course not!
As I was returning home from my walk, one of the women I'd previously noticed was out walking - with a babysitter and three small children - the smallest of which being strapped to her. And guess what, she said hello. She further inquired about Kate. And how did I handle this? Did I eloquently introduce myself and make a new friend? No of course not! When she asked me how I was doing with a two month old I gave her the thumbs up! What kind of reject gives the thumbs up? I'm giggling to myself as I sit here typing this. Wish me luck that if I ever have similar opportunities I'll know how to handle them better. Or better yet offer me your advice on how to make friends with my neighbours!
5 comments:
You make me laugh :) I can totally picture you giving that woman a thumbs up! It takes a while... you see people a few times then at some point you go from acquaintances to friends. You should try to go to mommy and me classes, like the one at the library, then strike up conversations there. Or at the park. It's hard to have a meaningful conversation with someone on the sidewalk!
I agree with what Suz said. It takes a while. I actually can't imagine life outside of Utah- where your neighborhood is your ward, there are play dates and stuff going on all the time, I never thought about it before...
Good luck! At least you have your blog friends! :)
I also agree with Suz and Sal, just be friendly and pass a few casual comments to start with or ask some non evasive questions. Just smile, try befriending someone who looks lonely, maybe an older person. You might be the only person they speak to that day. But for real friends it does take time.
I say be a weirdo and talk to them! I've done this a few times - I accosted a fellow moms with young children on the street waiting at a bus stop or out walking with their kids. The one turned out well - we started a playgroup once a week and had some great visits. You have an easy conversation starter since you've just moved into the area. Everyone asks me this at the park - 'So, whereabouts do you live?', 'How long have you lived in the area?'. Then, when a kid hits mine or my kid hits their child - we are usually forced to talk to each other. I can't say I struck up many friendships using this technique!
It helps if you hang out at the local park. Soon enough Kate will be old enough to go into the baby swing (padded with blankets of course to hold her still), and then the ooh's and ahh's of a new baby take over. There are also the Ontario Early Year Centers where mom's bring their kids to play and to hear songs and stories. That's a good place to start. And, you just start talking to people...it's weird. But better than talking to yourself....sometimes...
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