When exactly did Shawn became such an important friend? That's a good question. I stayed for an extra year of high school and we became better friends. We kept in touch after high school seeing each other here and there. Then Shawn got pregnant with Cooper, Ken and I went to the baby shower. I told her I was pregnant with Kate, and then three and a half months later we were on mat leave together. That was definitely the beginning of a deeper bond and friendship. At this point in time Shawn was living in Keswick.
Fast forward a few years and Shawn and Sean and Cooper moved to London, Ontario. We went to visit, she popped into Ajax, and then we started a yearly tradition of going to Chudleigh's. But it wasn't until Marco Polo that our friendship really really deepened. Shawn and I Polo each other almost every day. The ridiculous minutiae that we discuss is laughable. We are each others therapists. (The Marco Polo app is an app that allows you to send video messages to each other.)
One of the things that we've discussed a lot lately is Shawn's sweet Mama. "The poor girl". Shawn's Mom had been battling PSP. "Progressive Supranuclear Palsy (PSP) is a rare neurodegenerative disease that affects movement, balance, and cognition. Often mistaken for Parkinson’s disease due to similar early symptoms, PSP progresses more rapidly and has distinct features that set it apart. Common symptoms include: eye movement problems, balance and mobility issues, stiffness and slowness, speech and swallowing difficulties and cognitive and emotional changes. Life expectancy after diagnosis is 6-12 years." (From the Coleen Cunningham Foundation Website)
Shawn's Dad Fred has been Lina's primary caregiver these last many years, but recently more and more and more was asked of and needed of Shawn. Her parents moved to London in 2020. They are about a ten minute walk apart. Shawn has her ECE (early childhood education) and has worked in the school system and doing daycare for years. She did home daycare for several years when she first moved to London. A couple of years ago however, her neighbour asked if she was interested in working in insurance. Shawn did the courses, passed with flying colours and she was off to a new career. One of the huge blessings of this new career path was flexibility. She was able to do her work and be there to help take her Mom to appointments, and then it was to help shower her Mom, and then it was to help whenever and however she was needed. Not to mention the emotional support Fred needed.
It has been so much. Watching/listening to Shawn's adventures with her sweet Mama have made me just love her more. She has been such a good daughter to her parents. She has been their angel. The extra years they gave their Mama because of the loving care of the whole family (Shawn's whole family - two sisters and two brothers help out as well to varying degrees) have brought them all so much joy. Shawn has seized the moments with her Mama to bring them both joy. Shawn has truly delighted in her Mama, and despite the many, many challenges they've been happy, very happy.
The last few months however, things slowly began to change. Lina was having a harder and harder time. The pain was worse and worse, and the physical side effects were becoming more and more unmanageable. There have been a number of times that Shawn thought, "this is it". But Lina kept on. Fred kept her keeping on.
Just before Christmas things really did get real though. Shawn moved in, moved on to the hateful couch Megan (a polo story), waking to administer meds every four hours, then every two hours. She held her Mama's hands, she held her Dad's hands. She cried to her husband Sean. She cried to me. She kept going.
Today, when Ken and I were sitting on the couch in the art gallery I got a Polo from Shawn. I knew what this meant. This meant that her beloved Mama had crossed over. I watched the Polo and quietly wept for my friend in the art gallery. She recounted to me the tender beautiful mercies surrounding her mother's passing. Her husband being there at the right moment to rub her back. The visit from Lilian, her husband and daughter Kristen. How Lina held Kristen as a baby, and how Kristen went to the car (a midwife) to get her stethoscope and confirm (not officially, but tenderly) that Lina had indeed passed. Shawn cradled her mother in her arms and told her how much she was loved.
I'm so grateful that Lina raised a beautiful daughter named Julie Elisabeth Shawn Tiesma. I'm grateful that I could share in this beautiful family journey. I'm also grateful for my knowledge of the gospel of Jesus Christ. I take enormous comfort in the fact that Lina will someday be resurrected and that she and Shawn will hug again - but hopefully not for a very long time!
I treasure the technology that allows me to stay connected with a beautiful friend named Shawn, and allowed me a window into her life, and the life of her mother, Eline Vanderlugt Tiesma, Lina.
March 16, 1950 - December 29, 2025
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