Christmas

I wasn't planning to wrap presents until the wee hours of the morning on Christmas Eve, but then I didn't make a different plan... I was woken up by a feverish barfing Fiona not long before I was done. Thankfully it seemed like a one off and she settled quickly and I was able to finish up.

But the poor thing was not well the next day. I wasn't sure what to do. We only had an hour of church, so I decided to give Fiona some advil and off we went, but not before the girls opened their stockings and one or two of their presents.

Church was so very special. It was only an hour long and we sang almost the whole time. It was a lovely service and I was so glad that we all went. Fiona sat in my arms almost the whole time, but she seemed okay. When we got home I took a Christmas dress picture - or at least I tried to. Fiona is not into having her picture taken at the moment which is very frustrating!

Thankfully I was able to take lots of pictures of presents being opened and Fiona wasn't upset about that.

The girls loved their presents. Alice's biggest excitement was for her makeup. She LOVES makeup and was so excited about it. The rest of the day was spent applying more and more and more makeup to everyone who would let her!

Kate's favourite was maybe the Playmobil? I'm not sure. Anyway she spent hours putting it all together and asked for minimal help. I was really proud of her. We took lots of pictures of the Playmobil, but I didn't get one with her cute face.

Ken cooked up a storm all afternoon and eventually Andrew, Rayna, Mom and Dad all came. The girls had a few more presents to open - more make up, some jewellery, cases to keep it all in, and a tablet from Mom and Dad. (Mom and Dad gave us money and I kind of forgot about getting them something to give the girls, so we made the tablet from them - it worked out I think!)

Fiona was fading pretty good, so we gave her some more advil and had Christmas dinner.

We had a really lovely Christmas. Everyone was really happy all day. Poor little Fiona's fever spiked just before bed, but even she was able to get through most of the day with the help of medicine. We really had such a lovely Christmas. I love Christmas!

Scary Stories on the Eve of Christmas Eve

The girls sat in the family room with my phone flashlight and told scary stories.  This is what I heard.

Alice’s Story (I missed the very beginning)

A real monster appeared, a fish man and it struck lightening and it boomed and it boomed and it was a zombie and it screamed and it said “I want your brain” and every time she saw that zombie she felt like death.

A zombie came and gobbled up her brain and the next day she went to school and her teacher said “what is 100 + 1” and she said “2?”  And her teacher said “what is wrong with you?” And she said “my head is empty it has no brain in it. This is a nightmare.”

And the zombie came and ate the Mom's brain and the Dad's brain and the Dad went to work and he didn't know who to call and he just sat there pushing the same button all day.

Kate’s Story

Once upon a time on a dark and stormy night there was a girl all alone in a cabin. And it was in the middle of nowhere in a forest. And she was all alone when all of a sudden the phone rang. And a deep voice said "you have food? Me hungry!" And the girl responded "yes I have tons of it"

The voice responded “what's your address?”

“52 in the middle of nowhere.”

And the voice hung up and the girl heard tromping in the forest then she heard ding dong.

And she carefully touched the doorknob, and it was Frankenstien and without asking the monster dove into the girls cabin and he ate all the food in there and even when he ate the last cookie he said, “me hungry, me want more food.”  He said “you know where find meat?” And with that said he picked up the girl and put her in a sack and went tromping through the forest until he reached the monster lair. And there was a pot of boiling water and one stick. The monster Frankenstien showed the monster to all of his allies. And the monsters said “you have caught food.”  “Me caught a lot of it.” And the monsters all cheered and they stuck the girl on a stick and as soon as they did they heard someone says stop. And they said “why?” Then they put her in a sack again and put her in a cave and she was never seen or heard from again.

Two Santa Photos - the whole long story

How do you know you are a little too obsessed with Santa photos? When you hashtag a Facebook post with #fionaruinedChristmas and you aren't totally joking.

On Friday night, we needed to buy a present for a birthday party the next day. I wanted to go to the mall after the trip to the Mastermind Toy Outlet. I told Ken that I wanted Christmas outfits for the girls, and that I wanted to check out Santa. According to the website for the Pickering Town Centre, Santa had been moved upstairs because they were repairing his castle after a flood in the lower level of the mall.

Everything changed when the girls walked in and saw Santa in all his glory. Fiona had been talking all week about Santa. All week. She was so, so, so excited. The girls danced around looking down at Santa in his castle.

I went into Gymboree for my annual Christmas outfit shopping, and the girls begged to change into their new outfits and see Santa right then. It was 8:30 or so at night. A sensible Mom would have said no. But I wanted to seize the moment. Fiona was so excited.

We went into the bathroom, wiped their faces, put on their cute outfits and went downstairs. Everyone was happy until we got half way around the castle. There was no line, Kate and Alice skipped ahead with Ken, and Fiona stopped dead in her tracks. Her face fell. Panic took over. She looked at me and said "I don't want to see Santa." 

A sensible Mom would have walked away. Fiona absolutely lost her mind. She cried, she lay on the floor in the fetal position. When I tried to pick her up she flailed and cried and squirmed. The last two years (2015, 2014) Kate held onto her while she cried. If I had tried to get Kate to hold her, they both would have been injured.

There was nothing calm or rational about my thinking. Fiona wouldn't be in the picture, Christmas was ruined.

I've let go of so many traditions this fall with the move and this felt like one more tradition I was going to lose and I just shut down. It was over. There was no do-over, it was done.

I went ahead and had them take a photo.

And then I was sad. I was sad all Friday night, and all day Saturday. I mean I did other things and I wasn't grumpy about everything, but every time I thought about the Santa picture it broke my heart all over again. I really thought this was the year Fiona would no longer be afraid.

Sunday, at church I started to regain my perspective. Santa photos are fun, but sharing the light of Christ, that's what it's really about. Loving one another, helping those around us feel loved. Serving each other and looking out for each other, all year and at this time of year too.

I started to feel guilty about posting that Fiona had ruined Christmas. Of course she didn't ruin Christmas, she just didn't want to sit anywhere near Santa. I started to also think about second chances - that is the true gift of our Savior. We never have to settle. We can be forgiven and improve, there's always a second chance, and a third, and a fourth...

I started to talk to Fiona, come up with a plan. She was game.

Monday night, after dinner the girls put their Christmas outfits back on. Kate brought her letter for Santa, Fiona brought her little Santa for moral support and we went back to the mall.

When it was our turn I told the greeter of our needs: 1. Santa was not to talk to or in anyway acknowledge Fiona's existence. 2. Santa needed to move over as far as he could in the chair, Kate would sit beside him, Alice beside her, and Fiona beside Alice.

And it mostly worked! Go Fiona! She was brave and I got my Santa photo with all three of my girls.

Parent Teacher Interviews

We met with Madame Mudahy at 6:50 at Southwood Park Public School, and then we went to meet with Ms. White and Ms. Fayaz at Carruthers Creek Public School at 7:30.

Kate's teacher didn't have very much to say. Kate's report card is good. All As and Bs. There hasn't been a whole lot sent home. I'm not sure if Kate has a portfolio at school - it wasn't offered, and I didn't think to ask about it. Kate's teacher is brand new - she just graduated and this is her first job. She seems nice. I know that there are some things coming home. I can't say I'm completely sure what Kate is learning this year - but she does tell me about some things?!

Alice's interview was very different. The teacher laid out her portfolio and said, this is how Alice is doing, and here is the evidence. Alice is also progressing well - just no report card in Kindergarten. 

We were able to bring home her portfolio. It was pretty neat. I scanned this because I thought it was amusing.

When asked to make connections - what does school remind me of? Alice wrote: My first day of school Emmet tripped over me and made my knee bleed. This was what happened to her on her first day of JK at Tottenham Public School. I'm not sure this is how Alice wanted to start her scholastic career. It was a little upsetting.

Also Alice related. Yesterday Alice engaged in the following conversation:
Alice: Did you know that when I was a JK my friends A and E were mean to me once?
Me: What did they do?
Alice: I was hanging on the bars on the school bus climbing structure and they stared at me.
Kate: I don't think staring is mean.
Alice: Then when I was hanging there they touched my feet.
Me: Why was that mean?
Alice: I couldn't get down because they were holding my feet.
Me: Did you ask them to stop.
Alice: Mom, I was a JK. I didn't have a decision wheel. I didn't know what to do. (Pause) I was a JK.

So tonight when we went, I just had to get a photo of the decision wheel. And here it is.

I'm thankful that the girls have settled so well into their new schools. They all (Fiona included) have wonderful teachers and friends. Life is good.
 

Halloween

Saturday was supposed to be Boo at the Zoo with Janelle and her boys. Neither of us wanted to go out. Instead Janelle and the boys came over for a play date, the two youngest anyway, James had a different play date. I promised Kate that we would still go to the zoo thing later in the day.

As it turns out later wasn't good. We finally got ready and were in the van on the 401 and we decided to check and see what exactly was going on only to realize that it was 3:00 and the boo festivities ended at 3:00. We had some unhappy children. Oops. We got Timbits, bought shades for the new windows - well three of them at least, went to dinner at Lonestar and then Kate asked to drive by Safety Village on the way home.

There were hordes of kids, and police, and lo and behold, a Halloween event at Safety Village. It was so awesome! The girls' Halloween costumes were in the van so we suited up and joined in the fun. Kate had recently been to Safety Village on a class field trip. The area is a scaled down version of a real town. Kids practice driving motorized cars and learn about safety. For Halloween there were volunteers in different buildings giving out candy. Each house/building had a theme. The girls had so much fun. I had so much fun. We all had so much fun!

We carved pumpkins on Sunday afternoon. The girls were very excited. They scooped their pumpkins and they all designed their faces. The bigger girls helped do some of the cutting.

Monday night Nana and Papa came for a night and Nana came out trick or treating with us. The girls were in heaven - candy heaven. It was a beautiful night, cool but not cold. There was no rain, and we walked up and down our street saying hello to lovely neighbours. There were some really fun houses too. The girls had such a great night. I wish I'd taken more pictures (didn't get one of Nana and Papa argh) and video of Alice and her Papa. She and Ken Sr. have the funniest conversations.

Happy Halloween!

The Weekend

I love it when Fiona wakes up on a Saturday and sees me in the morning and with excited glee says "Is it the weekend?" I really fully now understand the sentiment "I live for weekends". I love the time with my family above all else.

This weekend we planned to take the kids to see Mary Poppins. The Oshawa Stake has mounted a production and with free tickets, and Ken's boss Adrian in one of the lead roles, it sounded like a fun idea.

Alice sat on Ken's knee through the first act. She couldn't see. Fiona sat, stood, crawled, stood, sat, and moved on and around me the entire time. Kate enjoyed it, Alice sort of, and Fiona, I'm not sure. I'm not sure why I thought it would be a good idea. I should have just sent Kate and Ken. Hindsight!

I feel myself being so impatient with my children all the time. I feel like we're in a weird place. I'm not sure how to quite explain it. Perhaps it doesn't need to be explained. Children are a lot. I just keep feeling drained by everything, children included. How do I change this? I'm not sure.

After the squirm fest of the musical we went to Hollywood Cone in Oshawa. I was really excited to go. The experience sadly didn't live up to my expectations. I really expected an extraordinary taste experience, and it wasn't that. It was soft serve, so fine, dress it up. I ordered a Reese Peanut Butter Cup sundae with chocolate soft serve. It was just okay. Definitely not worth the calories.

Next up McDonald's play place, then home, baths, bedtime. I need to get more than six hours sleep a night so I stop feeling so annoyed by my children. It was a good day... mostly.  This is a kind of a bummer of a post. It is a true accounting of the happenings but it kind of makes me sad that I feel so annoyed by my kids. Now to get through the rest of Sunday. I love them, really I do. I'm grateful for them, really I am.

Kate got a rootbeer float.

Alice got a Cotton Candy Sundae.

So did Fiona.

I look tired. My ice cream looks like a mountain.

Ken got the Ferrero Rocher Banana Split.

The Move

I do not doubt for a minute that we are where we are supposed to be, and that is so comforting. I'm not engaged in what ifs and why nots. But that doesn't make this move easy.  I knew this year of driving would be hard, but sometimes I think I severely underestimated how hard it would be. We are mid October and I am sad and tired. My temper is so short and I feel like a failure most of the time. I have no energy to do anything after spending two hours driving home and picking up three girls in three different places at the end of the work day. It feels like too much.

But then I drive down to the lake, or today, I walk down. I breathe. I feel calm. The water, the beauty of this world rejuvenates and lifts me and I know the sacrifices I'm making this year are good and right and if I just remember to access the atonement I will find the comfort I'm looking for.